Vegan Whole Grain Bread
I’d like for my last meal to include this vegan whole grain bread. Partly because it is one of the most versatile breads I have ever made but mostly because it is seriously delicious.
Yesterday, I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on this bread and today I had a hummus and roasted eggplant sandwich on it. It tasted good both ways (which, I might add, were vastly different flavors).
Earlier this week I thought perhaps I should give up eating bread. It’s filling and usually leaves me with a plush tummy afterwards. But then I thought: nah! I’d be pretty miserable if I couldn’t eat bread. It is one of my favorite foods, after all…
This temporary lapse in judgment came while trying on swimsuits. I ordered two new suits (I am grossly overdue for new ones) that I saw on sale, thinking ahead to our beach trip in March and our summer trips, which will inevitably include pools and/or the beach. Both suits were modest and conservatively cut and I thought they’d be flattering. Sigh…
The first was fine. A basic black one-piece. No pizzaz or wow! factor, but good enough for the pool or cabana-lounging. The second one? Not so much. Online it looked cool – a one-shouldered suit with sideswept ruching in an ombre color-scheme. I thought this would be the season’s winner.
The suit did fit. It was absolutely the correct size, but when I looked at myself in the mirror, I thought there was surely some mistake. I don’t have that much skin in those places. Do I? I felt like my body had grown exponentially in the time it took me to get that swimsuit on. Holy wow. In fact, I was so horrified that I became intrigued. I looked at myself from every angle as if I had never laid eyes on my own self before. I even took the suit off and put it back on to ensure I hadn’t put it on backwards the first time.
On paper, I sound like a dreamboat (just kidding). I am 5’4”, 115 lbs. I wear a size 0 (or 2, depending on the brand), so you would think I could wear just about anything and look alright. Right? Uh, no.
The most troubling part of this debacle was that I never really cared what I looked like in a bathing suit until this moment. Suddenly, I had a tummy and thighs and hips I never truly noticed.
So, what did I do next?
I returned that damned suit and exchanged it for a bikini! Because I heard Anne Lamott’s voice in my head:
“Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.” Anne Lamott from Help, Thanks, Wow!
So, friends, eat the bread and drink the wine and enjoy what makes you happy. And, seriously, you can’t swim in a muumuu, so put the swimsuit on and jump in!